I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
