I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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