I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
