She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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