So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
