My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
