Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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