I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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