how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
