How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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