and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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