just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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