Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize