If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
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But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
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Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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