He had one of those small greek statue penises
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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