wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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