someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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