I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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