And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize