apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
