My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
