how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
