this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
