maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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