She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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