If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He shit in the fireplace
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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