She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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