There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
