Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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