i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize