Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
