Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
