so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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