I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
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He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
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I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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