White coat. Heels.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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