these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
