You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize