For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
