I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize