So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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