feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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