If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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