So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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