office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
