yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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