Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
