That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
