Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
