Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
