i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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