At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I could fuck to npr.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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