at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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