dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Its about making memories worth repressing
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
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Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
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My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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