I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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