Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
