I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We got so high we made milksteak
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
