do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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