I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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