so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
