smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
